SYLVIA PLATH

Following our return from the Ranch, Scott and I have found ourselves deep in the same constant conversation about our life, our next step, and the things we love that can help us live a more enriched life. We've been talking about the goals we have and the loves we have. It's been nice to think a lot about all of the blessings we have, as well as all the choices we have. I remember leaving high school and thinking about the many decisions I was about to make in my life. I was reading The Bell Jar at the time, and I saw my life analogous to the fig tree Sylvia described in the story.

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."

I remember thinking at that time in my life, "Why can I just eat ten figs at once!" I've realized that while we have decisions to make, not all these decisions are mutually exclusive. Scott and I have so many things we want to be and so many things we want to do. And we can do them! We don't have to pick just one thing. I am excited to move forward in life with Scott because I know that we will find a way to include in our lives all the many things that make us who we are. We are both happiest when we are our best versions of ourselves. This is the greatest part of marriage, I think. Helping each other stay who we are!