Peter's Real First Days

Kirsten called yesterday to tell me that 4 year-old Ben still blesses Baby Peter and me when he prays. I'm so happy that Peter has such wonderful cousins who love him so much. He is one lucky boy.

These are pictures from his first days. I remember being in the ICU right after surgery. The doctors and nurses weren't sure if I had brain function at that time due to the lack of oxygen after I arrested. They were updating each other on my case, waiting for me to wake up. While I couldn't move or make sounds, I could hear everything they said. I could hear Scott and the anesthesiologist giving me a blessing. I could hear them talking to me, asking me to move my foot or open my eyes. I couldn't do any of that. All I could do was listen and lay patiently until I could find some way to communicate to them that I was alright (I finally caught Scott's attention with a wiggle of my tongue. I'm glad he's so observant!). I heard a lot of things during that time, and I had some wonderful feelings and experiences as I lay there that are personal to my husband and me. But one thing I did hear was that Peter would be going home with my sister until I was well enough to go home myself. I felt such overwhelming peace knowing that my little boy would go to the most loving home he could, where he would be well-taken care of. I knew my sister would do everything in her power to make sure he was cared for as I would care for him if I could have (maybe even better!) She did a wonderful job. She surrounded him with love, kept him safe, and did the practical things that she knew would be important to me (ie: making sure he learned to sleep in his bed instead of being held constantly, picking the best formula and bottles since the option to breastfeed was no longer available to me, making sure everyone washed their hands till they were raw before touching the baby, making sure her kids "only touch his toes", and showing him pictures of Scott and me so we could still feel as though he knew us even though we were away... she even had newborn photos taken!). Each time a family member or friend came to the hospital and told me of their time with Peter, I felt the strangest mix of feelings. I was happy that Peter was so loved, but I was sad and insecure that everyone else was developing a bond with my baby before I could. But even with that insecurity, I never for a second felt apprehensive about his stay with Kirsten. If Peter couldn't be home with Scott and me during those first couple weeks, then I couldn't imagine a better place for him to be. I am so grateful that Kirsten, Nick, and their whole family made the sacrifice to help me in a way that they only could. I am so grateful for their Christlike gift. I love them all so much.