It's January... you know what that means!

VALENTINES DAY!

I know... you're wondering what the deal is. Yes, I just celebrated a wonderful one-year anniversary with my husband... so, no, I'm not craving a romantic valentines day. I'm not craving valentines day at all, really. But January means Valentines Day because, at least in the Petersen home, all holiday celebration begins when the seasonal candy makes its appearance at Dan's. Halloween begins with the orange candy pumpkins (What are they called? Who makes them?) sometime in September, and Valentines Day begins in January with the arrival of candy hearts.



For those who don't know my brother Johnny, I will share with you that he is a candy junkie. This is actually a very positive thing for our family. Whenever we needed a treat growing up, we could find any number of craving-quenching candy in any number of the kitchen drawers, a laundry room cupboard, or the computer room shelves, tucked back behind a stack of printer paper. When we all stayed at a yurt last year, Johnny was kind enough to snowshoe in a ridiculous load of candy and cookies for us to shovel in during our over-nighter. Along with this obsession of Johnny's comes a great gift. He can sniff out the original brands to keep our taste buds from unpleasant surprises.

One year, for instance, we were all shocked to find that the large bags of candy hearts had a dark component to them. The minty flavor of the white candy hearts was sadly turned into a tart unidentified fruit flavor. There was an uproar, and luckily Johnny stepped in by discovering that the candy hearts in the boxes were still the true and original minty whites. Sadly, there was nothing Johnny could do when the familiar pink strawberry-like flavor became fruit punch.

Well, what Johnny doesn't know (and what might, quite frankly, break his heart), is that the boxes of candy hearts this year not only bear zero resemblance to the original flavors that tickled our tongues as kids, but also include a new flavor... an obscene BLUE candy heart!

Why? Why do things have to change the way they do? Why can't we just know what we're biting into when we pop one of these conversation hearts into our mouths? Will it be hard; will it be soft? Will it be sweet; will it be tart? The words themselves stay the same. "Fax me." No one faxes anymore! If we're not updating the messages, why are we messing with the taste?

You see, these things matter. Oh, they matter.

I remember the awful day I discovered chocolate skittles.

This season I also saw a peppermint Peep in my mom's cupboard. What's next?

"And what the heck are raisins doing in a salad? Why can't people leave well enough alone?"