Serenity

A few days ago, I read a comment on my friend Caitlin's blog that I love. 

"Depression means you are living in the past. Anxiety means you are living in the future. Serenity means you are living in the present." 

When I think about my life, serene is not exactly the word I'd choose to describe the day-to-day. But I like to think that as a whole, it is filled and characterized by elements of serenity. It is serene as I rock my little to sleep in the middle of the night. It is serene when his smile greets me in the morning. I love to creep into his room, "I hear somebody in here," and watch his neck contort so he can see me, east of him in the doorway. My life is serene when I think of those I share it with, all the people I love who also love me. The quality of that love is serene. The quality of my life is serene also. I am very blessed.

I get anxious, and I get depressed. The latter only lasts for a second at a time, and I'm grateful for that. It's a beautiful thing to understand the source of both. Both are such ugly words, and they invoke the feelings they mean. Just the sound of the word "anxiety" makes me anxious! The feelings are appropriately named! 

Serenity is a lovely word. I doubt I will ever be the embodiment of such a virtue. "There's Lindsey, isn't she just serene?" That probably will never be the case! But I love the overall bubble of serenity that seems to encircle my home when, even in the busy, tired, mess, we can enjoy every second of our present.

And as I grow and improve, and as I'm blessed with insight and joy, I am even learning to apply serenity to my thoughts of the future. I know our future is filled with miracles and flight.